Personal Struggles of a missionary in Kigali
4/16/17: I feel really lonely. Don't get me wrong. I talk to people and even hangout with a couple. The loneliness I feel is the result of two things going on in my life in Kigali.
1) The general feeling that no one cares about my teaching or even what is happening in my life. None of the leaders in the school has ever asked me (being a new teacher at KICS), "Janet, how are things with you?" or, "How are you adjusting to life in Kigali?", or, "How are your classes or students?" or "How can we help you?" "Is there anything you need?", "How is your housing situation?". I feel completely alone (although I know God is always with me). I realize I serve Jesus and He approves of me but it would be nice for fellow servants and overseers to say something.
2) My colleagues and coworkers never ask me to join them when people are getting together to do something. I spent Christmas and my birthday alone and every other holiday as well (even when I dropped hints). Actually a family took me out on my birthday because I told them how I felt and they felt sorry for me. I often feel shunned and I know leadership have a preconceived prejudice against me because of my age (they told me this) and also unfounded gossip.
Also, I feel useless. I love my students and really enjoy them and teaching ELL but I long for something more; more ministry related. I want to share Jesus love and salvation with people. I want to teach the important things in life-not just English. I'm bored, lonely and exhausted. I know God put me here in Rwanda but at this point I don't really know why. I am trusting His wisdom which is always better than mine.
1) The general feeling that no one cares about my teaching or even what is happening in my life. None of the leaders in the school has ever asked me (being a new teacher at KICS), "Janet, how are things with you?" or, "How are you adjusting to life in Kigali?", or, "How are your classes or students?" or "How can we help you?" "Is there anything you need?", "How is your housing situation?". I feel completely alone (although I know God is always with me). I realize I serve Jesus and He approves of me but it would be nice for fellow servants and overseers to say something.
2) My colleagues and coworkers never ask me to join them when people are getting together to do something. I spent Christmas and my birthday alone and every other holiday as well (even when I dropped hints). Actually a family took me out on my birthday because I told them how I felt and they felt sorry for me. I often feel shunned and I know leadership have a preconceived prejudice against me because of my age (they told me this) and also unfounded gossip.
Also, I feel useless. I love my students and really enjoy them and teaching ELL but I long for something more; more ministry related. I want to share Jesus love and salvation with people. I want to teach the important things in life-not just English. I'm bored, lonely and exhausted. I know God put me here in Rwanda but at this point I don't really know why. I am trusting His wisdom which is always better than mine.
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