High School: New Life in Christ

8/2/1969: There wasn’t a day gone by when I didn’t think about killing myself. The pain of loneliness, isolation, hate and rejection were so strong I could barely function. If drugs were available I would have become an addict. If there was any other “out” available to me I would have done it. My dream and goal in life was to die. I had no friends and felt that everyone in my life hated me. I cried myself to sleep every night and had repeated demonic nightmares. I hated life, I hated myself, and I hated everyone around me. The funny thing is I was the star student in Sunday school. I had perfect attendance and knew all the verses and answers. I got all the awards in church. What a joke! Nobody knew the turmoil going on within me.     
                             
When I was 13 years old I decided to kill myself by the only means I knew available to me-poison. I took everything in the medicine cabinet that said “Do not take internally” or “poison” and poured it into a glass. As I held it up to drink it, I saw myself in the mirror and God spoke to my heart. He said, “If you drink that, you will miss my plan for your life”. I didn’t drink it. About a year later, I sat on the side of my bed and prayed, “God if you are real, and if you love me, come into my life and  change me.” God heard me and answered me that day.